I can confuse and frustrate many,
but to some I can entertain them.
There are many pieces that make me up.
When life brings me hard challenges,
and makes my world crumble.
I have friends and family,
to put me back together.
Friends and Family who I carry memories with,
memories that complete me.
When you put all my pieces together,
you can see me for who i truly am.
I am a puzzle.
Kevin, you have a very good poem. It somewhat describes you and a puzzle as well. But I feel that you can put more of "yourself" into it. Add more descriptive things. Instead of "There are many pieces that make me up." you can put, "I am made up of many pieces." You have a lot of verbs than adjectives which is good.
ReplyDeleteOther things that would help your poem become better is to really think of what a puzzle does and connect it to what you do. I hope this was helpful.
-Sharmaine
Maybe rephrase the first two lines to, "I can confuse and frustrate many, but then again, I can entertain some."
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Sharmaine said of thinking about words that really makes you a puzzle.
Lines 4-7 and lines 10-12 was what made this poem great.
KEVIN,
ReplyDeleteYour metaphor poem is really deep. I like the idea of a puzzle to describe you because you are hard to figure out, but only the people who take the time to put you together are the ones that know you best (:
I agree with Sharmaine on changing the line that says, "There are many pieces that make me up" to "I am made up of many pieces".
Other than that, I feel your metaphor poem was relative to your personality and it fit you well. Good job (:
-Janelle