Science Fiction movies makes us have the feeling of amazement and excitement, while showing us the negative and positive consequences of the scientific breakthroughs. Some sci-fi movies tells us stories about different ways of thinking or ways of living. In the movie, Wall-e, the scientific breakthroughs mostly revolve around advanced technology. From cleaning robots to automated pilots, they both have one thing in common in this movie and that is making the people lazy. Although the positive outcome of the cleaning robots, such as Wall-e, made it easier for the humans, it made the humans lazy to clean the earth themselves and forced them to move into space so that the robots could clean the earth instead. While the humans were away, the robots broke down and the earth become a giant wasteland. In addition, the automated pilot made the captain lazy to control the space ship himself. Avatar also has a variety of scientific breakthroughs. Scientists combined the genes of a human and the genes of a Na'vi, creating what is called an Avatar. The scientist then mentally linked a human to become one the avatars. For movies like Avatar and Wall-e, it shows us something that could possibly happen in the future.
In order to make a good sci-fi, you need an exciting storyline that attracts the audience's attention, combining of what they know about sci-fi and what they don't know about it. You need to have a plot and conflict that also includes explaining the positive and negative effects of the scientific breakthrough. Those are some key elements that are needed to make a good sci-fi. Science fiction movies makes us wonder what could possibly happen in the future. The purpose of science fiction movies is to get us to think outside the box. Whether it's books, movies, or magazines, Sci-fi is everywhere.
Hey Kevin. It's Czarina! And I'm here to, obviously, comment on your essay :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, let's start off with your introduction. Well, I was looking through all of our classmates essays and I noticed that a couple of you start off with your examples (movie titles, etc.) at the start of the essay already. I think that is fine but maybe you should revise that first sentence up a little bit because it is a little similar to Shannel's first sentence. That is quite a good way to start your essay though. but you wouldn't want to have the same start-up as some else, right? So maybe you could revise it like this: "Wall-E, I am legend, Start Trek, Avatar etc., all fall into one type of genre and that is Science Fictions, also known as Sci-Fi." Now, you can't use what I just gave you, because that is just an example. But that's just a little taste to see how you can revise that one sentence. LOVE the second sentence. Great way to explain sci-fi in a couple of words. I really liked how you explained what exactly sci-fi is in your intro. It helps those who do not completely know what it is right from the start of your essay! Excellent! :D
Second Paragraph: Instead of putting "makes", I think the correct word to use is "make". Very detailed explanation of the positive and negative consequences of technology in the present and the future.
Third Paragraph: Very nice! You talked about the elements needed in a good sci-fi very detailed but you also managed to fit everything in one paragraph. At the very end, "Sci-fi is everywhere." should be a new sentence. So instead of a comma after the word "magazines", put a period.
Overall, very good essay! Good luck on your final! :)
Kevin!!!!
ReplyDeleteIn your first paragraph you have listed some examples of sci-fi. The sentence you have seems a whole lot similar to Shannel's first sentence.
In your second paragraph I liked how you detaily explain your examples of science breakthroughs using WAll-e and Avatar. And thats what i like best about it.
In your conclusion, I felt as if it is just a repitition of your intro. To replace the repititions maybe you could focus a bit on the purpose or something.
I honestly enjoyed this essay and how it was completely detailed. I am very impressed and keep up the good work.
oh and i forgot to say i hope i didnt miss anything! but i think i did
ReplyDeleteHi Kevin,
ReplyDeleteYour teammates have made some good comments, both about your opening sentence (being too similar to Shannel's) and also about mechanics.
Besides that, however, I think you need to develop this essay further. The only element you discuss is the "positive/negative effects" of sci-fi and your only examples are from movies. You start to talk about "plot and conflict" in your conclusion but don't really develop this with specific examples.
Work on these in your final and you should end up with a more successful essay :)
mrs s