TOPIC: Tell us how a particular book, play, film, piece of music, dance performance, scientific theory or experiment or work of art has influenced you. If you choose a novel, film or play, assume we know the plot.
Kevin in Wonderland
In today’s society we all find ourselves caught up in the popular media. Whether it may be novels, films, music, actors/actresses, we tend to have our own personal opinions and influences from them. Things that can catch our eye the most and can make us interested are what influence us.
“Attention all 3rd to 8th graders of St. Joseph School! Auditions for this years school play, Alice in Wonderland, are today in the cafeteria after school. See you there!” said the loud intercom. Considering I was a 5th grader that year, I said to myself in confidence “maybe I’ll get a better role than last year!” Every person in my class was thinking about auditioning. From class to class, we all sit anxiously in our seats waiting for the end of the day just to audition. “R-i-i-i-i-n-g!” goes the final bell of the day. We all rush out of the classroom, making our way to the cafeteria
When my whole class arrived at the cafeteria, it was filled with students trying to audition. It was like the whole 3rd to 8th grade class wanted a part in the play that year. At last, the auditions began. “All of you must sing a song from the play in groups” said Mrs. Kaiser, the St. Joseph School’s drama teacher. I picked my best friends to sing with me for the audition. As we got called up to audition, we prayed that we would get good parts, hugged each other for good luck, and finally walked to the front of the room. We picked The Walrus and the Carpenter to sing. And so we began, “The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand…” After we were done singing people clapped for us, shouted “good job you guys!” and cheered loudly. After every went to audition, we got our roles for the play. Sadly, I got a small part, the Red Queen’s knights.
On the day of the first show, everyone began to become nervous and started panicking. As the curtains swung open the first, second and third scene began. The scenes were about Alice not paying attention to her sister and following a white rabbit down the hole, and finding herself in Wonderland. While waiting for my part to come on, I waited on the side with my friends, watching the play. For a second, I thought to myself “Alice is kind of like me. I don’t pay attention when the teacher is talking and I am very curious.” From a small part in the play, it influenced me to pay more attention in class.
After the story started to unfold, the 4th, 5th and 6th scenes began. They were about Alice getting advice from the caterpillar and how Alice met the Mad Hatter and Hare. Again, I thought to myself “maybe I should start listening to advice that my friends and family are giving me.” As the 6th scene was ending, I began to get ready for my part. The 7th and 8th scenes were mostly about who stole the Red Queen’s tarts. After my part was over, the nerves started going away. I started to zone out again, I thought, “maybe I should do what I am told to and tell the truth because if I don’t, I’ll have to pay the price by punishment
Even though it’s been years since I was in this play, I really learned a lot from this experience. Alice sets goals and accomplishes them in the story so she could go home. Ever since I was in this play, I started setting goals for myself. I slowly began improving on my grades, listening and paying attention in class. Alice in Wonderland really open my eyes to do better in school. It influenced me to do better in school.
okay kevin.
ReplyDeleteCool and unique story you got going on. I like the parts where you compare yourself with Alice. That was clever of you. And you even try to convince yourself to change your bad habits. That shows how much you've matured. I really like the concept of your story.
But, some parts became a bit redundant. For example in your 5th paragraph you say "everyone began to become nervous....." when you can just say everyone became nervous. You have some presentation errors but nothing too bad. In your conclusion...it could be a bit stronger. Put something more about you. Don't just talk about how you've become a better student, you can also talk about how you had become a better child to your parents. Because you say that through your experience that you learned to be more attentive. Don't just talk about it school-wise. You want the college admissions to see who you truly are as a person and not just a student. Just implement more personal things about yourself and your essay is good to go.
-Sharmaine